Workaholic husbands can be problematic. Wives find it challenging to cope with them. Since much of their husband’s time is spent in the office, they naturally feel their house and family are neglected. Not only is their home life at the doldrums, but also, emotionally, the wife has to cope with a lot of boredom.
Wives often get bored when they have a workaholic husband. They resent that their husband does not have much time for them. Their resentment interferes with their marital life, and they are at loggerheads with their husbands. The question that arises is how must a wife deal with a workaholic husband. Let us observe this approach of a wife towards her husband who thinks primarily of work at the expense of his family life.
List of Strategies for Dealing with Workaholic Husbands
| Open Communication | Discuss feelings without blaming or accusing. |
| Understand His Perspective | Identify reasons for his excessive work. |
| Set Boundaries | Schedule regular date nights or family days. |
| Seek Counseling | Consider couples therapy or marriage counseling. |
| Stay Engaged | Engage in personal activities and passions. |
| Establish Rituals | Create daily connection rituals like meals together. |
| Compromise | Ensure he’s present when at home, even if working hours remain long. |
| Plan Vacations | Schedule regular vacations or getaways. |
| Seek Support | Connect with friends or support groups. |
| Encourage Self-Care | Promote breaks, exercise, and relaxation. |
| Address Underlying Issues | Identify deeper personal or relationship problems. |
| Negotiate Work-Life Balance | Discuss flexible hours or reduced overtime. |
| Re-evaluate Priorities | Reflect on shared life goals and values. |
| Educate Yourself | Learn about work addiction signs and consequences. |
| Consider Financial Counseling | Address financial pressures driving excessive work. |
Tips to deal with a workaholic husband
Let’s have a look at some of the top points in detail –
1. Understanding
One must be understanding. The husband might be having some problems at the office, or he might be trying for a raise to have a better life for his family. He may often spend more hours at the office as his work demands. In today’s cutthroat competition, one has to work hard to be in the race. The job market uncertainty is another reason men work hard and try to save for bad times. If he is the breadwinner, his work is naturally vital. Empathy goes a long way. Recognize his ambitions and concerns to create a connection.
Importance:
- Recognizing the external pressures faced by the husband.
- Validating his efforts to secure the family’s future.
- Demonstrating appreciation and patience.
Possible Outcomes:
- Deepened mutual understanding and empathy.
- Increased connection and strengthened bond.
- Collaboration in navigating work-life balance.
2. Nagging Wife
Often, the cause of the husband spending too much time in the office could be the wife itself. A nagging wife can be a pain in the neck for the husband. He may be spending more time in the office to escape from her. A wife must see that she makes her husband comfortable at home and pleasant. After a day’s hard work, he must return to a soothing atmosphere in the house. There are so many tensions at the office these days, be it raises, office politics, salary, travel, relationship with the boss, targets, etc., that men are not in a position to take any further tensions at home. To avoid it, they spend extra hours at the office. Create a home sanctuary. A peaceful environment often draws one back sooner.
Importance:
- Peaceful and inviting home environment.
- Reducing stress that might push him further into work.
- Promoting open communication.
Possible Outcomes:
- Increased desire to return home after work.
- Improved home atmosphere leading to better overall well-being.
- Strengthened relationship through respect and understanding.
3. Reminder
A wife must now and then remind the husband that he must spend quality time with the children. They need him, of course. After all, he has to spend time educating and playing with them. Children grow up to be healthy if both their parents are actively involved in their upbringing. Husbands often get carried away with their ambitions or give their wives and kids a better life. They should be reminded of other equally important responsibilities. Family bonding is irreplaceable. Gentle reminders help in rebalancing priorities.
Importance:
- Remembering the importance of family time and bonding.
- Balancing work ambitions with family responsibilities.
- Ensuring the development of children.
Possible Outcomes:
- Increased family bonding and memories.
- Strengthened parent-child relationship.
- Balanced priorities.
4. Support
One must also remember that a husband unhappy with his work will not be happy at home either. Even though he may be working harder at the office, he might enjoy his job and work hard for that meaningful salary raise or promotion. This might motivate him to work hard, and he might also enjoy it. Depriving him of his work will make him unhappy and tense, leading to further problems. Support his passion. Mutual understanding often leads to a harmonious relationship.
Importance:
- Recognizing his passion and dedication towards his job.
- Offering emotional support in his professional journey.
- Respecting his choices and understanding the sources of his happiness.
Possible Outcomes:
- Enhanced mutual respect and understanding.
- Reduced tensions from work-life conflicts.
- A harmonious relationship built on mutual support.
5. Faithful
The wife must realize he spends more time at work than with another woman. At least he is being faithful to her. It may be challenging to cope with not having him at home early, but at least one need not go through the trauma of him spending time with another woman. Trust is foundational. Value commitment and faithfulness.
Importance:
- Trusting his commitment to the family.
- Recognizing fidelity as a strong foundation of the relationship.
- Appreciating the sacrifices made.
Possible Outcomes:
- Strengthened trust and foundation in the relationship.
- Avoidance of unnecessary suspicions and conflicts.
- Sense of partnership and commitment.
31 Comments
OMG! What decade did YOU come from?
I have been with a workaholic for 12 years now. Do you actually know anything about living with a woraholic?
EVERY THING revolves around work. Dinner party conversations , work is all he can talk about.
Grouchy, thinking about work ..constantly, working on vacation, weekends, sex life dwindles, what YOU are taliking about is a ” hard worker” NOT a true workaholic.
You are spewing all this info for a woman to “deal with it” well, at least know what you are talking about.
Explain the TRUE workaholic. How does one deal with THAT?
Don’t worry women, a man wrote this of course. And they wonder why we cheat
yes, this article is way too defend on men’ side…please you just don’t know how we women feel…
I agree. Everything about this sexist archaic article made me angry! Reduce your needs, ladies and all will be well!
YOu don’t. YOu build your own life and keep him knowing this is the man you married. I knew my husband was a workaholic while we were still dating. I just had a busy life, and was young and full of interests and friends. things get tough when you start a family, and responsibilities pile up. You end up doing the housework since he is never home, and then I have my own job. You end up taking care of everything. But you also can have a very fulfilling personal life. I realized long ago my life does not revolve around anyone. I make my own life. I am in charge of my own happiness. My husband is a very successful man because he is a workaholic. Do I wish he would spend more time with me? Yes! Have I accepted the fact that he probably won’t? Of course. Whatever. Life goes on. There are worse things in life! He may or may not get it in this lifetime. I know I made my decision, and I love him. I plan on staying and just doing me!
sounds like you gave up
If you’re happy with your life then it’s great, but being with a workaholic is a lifetime issue, not something that everyone can deal with. I personally have hit breaking point. Too many promises and none of them are being kept. I keep getting told that it will only be for another year of hardwork and it will be ok.
I took a step back, realized that I was enabling him, and have decided that I am better and deserve better. It’s true life will go on, but it might just be without him. I guess it all depends on why you’re in the relationship. There’s a lot of talk about the pressures of a breadwinner, and I can say that I don’t need my husband from a financial point of view, so it’s all really about what I want from a relationship, and if a few hours here and there is good enough.
I have a workaholic husband but I do not have much problem with him. In fact we are both workaholic. We are trying to setup our own company together and I know the amount of work we have to put in is immense. I cannot go on beating drums that he is not giving me time or blah blah.. Actually it is more of the understanding and priorities of life. Sometimes it becomes essential to be a workaholic for your future and future of your children. I am sure many would not go ith my thoughts but this is my personal opinion.
My husband has to be the biggest workaholic ever. I feel less of a woman and deeply undervalued. I just gave birth two weeks ago and this has not gotten my husband to stay home with me. I think this is very sad. If he can’t stop and take a break long enough to be there for his wife, and care for her and her newborn baby, not to mention the three-year-old they have together, I feel there is not much hope left. I have told him about his workaholic ways to no avail. He’s made many failed attempts at getting home earlier, but I have not seen his attempts come to fruition yet. I’m nearly fed up with everything. I’m left at home everyday, bored, in recovery from birth, and taking care of two young children all by myself everyday. I’m deeply saddened and do not know how much longer my relationship can go on like this. I feel sorry for any woman who is in a similar situation.
I have a workaholic boyfriend who cannot leave his work at work. He talks about it and worries about it all the time, and has told me that his job has cost him a few other relationships before me. He works 6 days every week, and we have no time to go away for the weekend, unless of course it’s close to a job site he’s assigned to. If he does take a day off to relax with me, he thinks and talks about work. He says that when he has a day off, he doesn’t even know what to do with himself because he’s bored. The crazy part is – he always tells me how much he hates his job but can’t leave because similar companies in this field treat their people worse than this company. I tell him I hate his job more than he does. When he is not working, he is tired/fatigued, lacks energy, eats poorly, and has no motivation to participate in activities/hobbies I want him to participate in with me.
I am not a nagging girlfriend at all. In fact, he’s told me I am the best girlfriend he ever had. I think this article is pretty stupid and old-fashioned, but this subject is serious. A workaholic is no joke. As for Natasha, you have given me insight into what it would be like to be married to a workaholic who makes no time for his family. I am so sad for you and you children. I hope that somehow, someday he will realize what he’s missing and change his behavior.
My workaholic husband just moved away yesterday.
Workaholism is not hard working,. It’s an inability to think about anything else- about family, about me, about our future, about fun and enjoyment, about our hause, his family… anything that is not work related.
He loses 2.5 hours a day on coming and going back from work. Still he works approx 12 h in addition to the commute time.
And when he is at home, he can only talk or think about work. He doesnt think about planing holidays, planing a family, going to cinema, spending a fantastic day/evening in spa. Even if you have one hour, you can spend it well. And this quality of the few moments left is the difference between hard worker and workaholic.
I am sad that he left( I asked him to becasue I can’t stend being ignored any more) but I am also relieved. There are no more evenings waiting if he will come at 9pm or 10pm, hoping to have a dinner together, hoping for a hug while falling a sleep, hoping for a nice walk on a sunny Sunday.
At least I know that now I don’t have him.
while he was at home I “had” him, but actually I didn’t get anything form him. And I was sad and felt neglected all the time. Now at least I know I am on my own and there are no disapoitnments any more….
You are a conventional person who thinks it is the duty of the wife to keep the husband calm. This is BULLSHIT! this article is Thrash
This article was obviously written by a workaholic. I have been married to one for twenthy three years and I can tell you that if you are married to one for any length of time you deserve a medal. It is a VERY lonely life, with little emotional support. Emotional support that includes a whole range of things including raising the children, taking care of the home, school, your own work, all alone. We have seen everything take a back seat to work, and it doesn’t matter if work is good or bad as this article implies. Being married as long as I have my husband has had a few jobs. If the job is good or bad is really not relevant, he is going to throw everything into it.
Family and friends think it is because he is hard driven or money hungry. Both are not true he has simply always been like this, even when we were dating. There is always an excuse prior to getting married it was to build our life together, then build a better life, now to take care of us in our old age. Meanwhile life marches on, kids get older, loved ones are lost, and all that is left are the memories. For which he will have very little. We very rarely hear from family or friends as it is just simply to hard to get together as he is always working. Eventually they all give up adding to the loneliness.
When at home his cell phone rings constantly from people that he works with calling to discuss work. Which he does for hours at a time. I mean hours, how can you talk for hours about something you just left? It is work and not another woman as he takes the calls in front of all of us, we hear everything. He is so disconnected with the kids that they very rarely update him to anything going on with them or get annoyed when he asks about things going on as it takes to long to get him up to speed, and they know he is really not listening anyway as we all have to repeat it again later. Just last evening when I was called away from he house, he got dressed and went to wotk without making sure the kids had anything to eat for dinner. See that is noy his “JOB”. Work is his only “JOB”, and NOTHING else. He is not a mean person, he is not insulting and he tries very hard to be supportive but what these people don’t understand is that when you withdraw from one area of life the rest continues on without you. You do so at the risk of losing that portion of your life. This is dealing with a workaholic.
Wow…you really hit the nail on the head! 13 years and going and i am just realizing its never going to get easier. I think the lonliness is the hardest to deal with and i fear when the kids are gone i wont know how to deal with it alone.
This article should be renamed “Five ways to completely enable your workaholic husband and further make him and his addiction the focus of your life”. No thanks. As other have described above, this article was either written by a workaholic or is describing how a wife can support a ‘hard worker’. Admin, I suggest that this article be removed so that others looking for true ways to deal with a workaholic spouse don’t come across a waste of reading time such as this article. Ha, and here I am wasting my time further by responding to this waste of time article….thanks for nothing!
I agree~ ! 28 years of this, and it takes its toll….
My husband is a successful real estate business man. He’s from workaholic parents. His mom keeps encouraging him to work more. We have been married for 32 years, He is a good guy but has missed so much from what our marriage could have been.
I told him the other day if I outlive him, I will make sure his cell phone gets put in the coffin. I’d laugh at that image but it makes me pity him instead.
This article is the worst advice I have ever read. Lets not enable the workaholic Lets all pray for them!!!
My husband is the greatest Dad ever when he’s with us but every night he says he’ll try to come home and then he walks in the door at bed time, every year our vacations get postponed or changed because something unavoidable comes up at work, we have 4 kids and 1 has special needs so I’m super busy as everyone who see us comments-” I bet your busy” but he still wants more, why I don’g know he’s never around anyway. I’m lonely all the time but more than that I feel so sad and unimportant and yell at him when he does get home so now we fight alot, I know this tension is not good for my kids and don’t know what to do to get him to care more about us than work.
What crap. I want to come home after a long hard days work to a calm comfortable house, never happened in the twenty years if been married to a work a holic. I worked a 40 hour a week job, a part time job on the weekends and went to college while raising two kids. My husband doesn’t even have a successful career, just a factory rat, works 10 hours a day 7 days a week. Never lifts a finger to help with kids or household chores, they are all my job because that’s what I am for, as I am told. You want a calm peaceful household? Don’t tell you wife she would have more time to get morning chores and kids around for school, while he lays in bed(we have to work at the same time but for some reason I am up 1 1/2 hours earlier than him because that’s the only time I can do laundry because I have class after work) if I didn’t take so much time trying to make myself look like a whore to go to work. I shower and dry my hair and wear the appointed large mens T shirt to cover my self up. I am a size 4.
Have been married 14 years to a workaholic and have spent every year alone. Every birthday every anniversary and every family holiday. By the way I cud have had all these occassions but childminding, venue,date, time wood have been all organized by m but work wood and always has comes first one the day. Every year its oh next year we will be more relaxed spend time As a family blah blah…. Our son is nine next year he hasn’t seen him grow at all . We have 2 babies also I feel like single parent have done for years. I have my own system at home and I get offended when he starts laying down the rules to the kids on a rare day off. They don’t listen to be honest they so used to him not there. He can’t see he has no authority in a house he only sleeps in for 6 hours a nite. Got to the stage of separate beds too can’t be arsed making an effort he can’t either. I have nothing in common with him except the kids, nothing to talk about except work and believe me u will have the same boring conversation every day about the same thing and it will never no matter how many melt downs and stress outs they have it will never ever change. My life is my home and my kids and his is work. If was to all stop tmoro he will be back out the door two min later looking for the next challenge. Happened so many times. It’s NOT the job ladies never has been it’s the person obsessed with it. The job and phone are not the problem it’s the person who can never switch off from it and believe me please they never will. It’s who they are and how they live their life … Alone. It’s how they choose it to be. And yes they will tell u after every fight u have One Day u will be together one day u will have a holiday one day u will spend time as a family one day… U wont u prob realised that a long time ago but u will plod along cos thats life. Life is about choices and I made mine and he made his but the loneliness of it never leaves.
It is heartening to see so many others in the same situation and dealing with it too. So I understand: just make your own life and live with it. Don’t need him . Dont hope he will keep his promise. Dont hope that he will help you with kids or housework when he’s home because that is his relaxation time. But after all that do you still actually love him? How do you keep the sarcasm out of you voice when he says he will do something and you know he will forget about it in two minutes?
Been married to a workaholic over 50 years. doesn”t get any better with age. Being in my 80’s makes it hard to just leave. If I knew then when younger, what I know now, perhaps would have cut and run. But hard to leave kids. Now, just suck it up and make the best of it, will not change with time. Workaholics are sick people!
hi it’s Mary again see my post from 3 and half years ago above! I’m shocked that I found this page again as it’s been 3 years!!! now and I’m still searching the same topic. well I’m at the point now I don’t even know how to have a conversation or want to anymore. absolutely nothing has changed. 3 more years of empty promises and the loneliness is gut wrenching and loathsome. my plan now for the last yr has been how much I’m looking forward to my kids flying the nest as I absolutely know I will be out the door straight after them. That’s what I am working towards. my goal.i can wait. I waited 17 years already another 12 will be fine. why wait? I hear u ask. simple really. I’m putting my kids first. keeping the home they have grown up in. he’s never here so what difference would it make. A divorce would upset the life we have built without him. I’m nearly 40 and I know from the last 2 years looking for work that it’s not easy I have still to even get a reply. I had an excellent CV up.to 5 yes ago when I stopped working to raise the family.by the way I did sort the bedroom situation I completely redecorated the space for us new bed, TV then he invited his family member to live with us. We have no room for him but he’s “family” apparently. I’ve been sharing the youngest kids bed while he shares our bed with him. u can’t make it up. I’m smiling now cos i have my plan for me and only me and it fills me with complete joy.if u are engaged to a workaholic. run. run as fast as u can and never ever regret. If u r like me stuck in the same hopeless hopeful situation i give my love and share my tears.i doesn’t get easier with him but u can do it ur own way. Just keep going and never look back. good luck to u all xx
This was written by a man who works a lot and gave his wife this link when she complained about his work.
Oh my gosh!!! Had to comment on this old post! Apparently this person has NEVER lived with a workaholic!!!! I was miffed when I read it! Unbelievable! I should be grateful my husband isn’t spending time with another woman???!!! He should be happy I haven’t found another man to help fill the home responsibility and the lonely hours!!! This author knows nothing about this obviously!
Is so frustrating, no time to show how much they love you, too busy to call to check how you are doing, find it difficult to text you but it so easy to spend hours on business calls. No communication and any gist is work related, they get bored when you try to tell them about your day or sleep off. Workaholic are worst and can make a woman commit suicide
This is so sad. .. Especially about the ‘being lonely’ part… My husband is not a workaholic – he is unemployed and he is never sober. So, I get the ‘being lonely’ part here. Your man is gone, he is in his la-la land he enjoys ( work or alcohol) , you are waiting and waiting and waiting hoping something will change but it never does. Years go by, and then decades, your face does not look as fresh anymore and your figure is not what it used to be … this is when you start realizing that although you have been married all these years you actually were NOT. Your husband was always GONE, you were deprived of basic human needs on regular basis, your marriage was a sham and if you were to start it all over you would have made a different choice.
Ladies -get out while you can… What I have learned after years of this marriage – People Do Not Change,
I call bullshit. This obviously was written by a workaholic man. Smh.
LuLu, You are exactly right! I married at age 52 to a workaholic. 14 years later and he’s not changed even though we’ve discussed it many times. He doesnt’ care that his first priority should be US. If he cared there would be some changes. I moved out. I thought he’d realize how much he missed me. Well, guess what? Not having me there allows him to work even MORE. No more. I’m done.
Workaholism is a form of addiction and it’s usually a sign a man is emotionally unavailable. Workaholism is not a positive trait and studies show that workaholics are no more productive that average workers. In fact they may even lack time management skills. Recent research also shows that more than 50% of workaholics have strong narcissistic tendencies. I think the author of this article isn’t understanding workaholism thoroughly – the man (or woman) continues to work excessively despite negative consequences to their health, relationships, marriage, and home life. When they are at home they constantly think of nothing but work. Many workaholics suffer sleep disturbances, depression, and poor health. Workaholics don’t work because of anything their wives do and they certainly don’t trade infidelity for work.
I have been married to a workaholic for 37 years. It’s nothing short of a nightmare. On top of that, if we ever have plans to go anywhere, he’s at least 3 hours late and crabby. Vacations are a nightmare because there’s always a catastrophe at work and it delays is leaving. I raised our 2 daughters by myself and got no sympathy from him. Now our kids are grown with children of their own and when the grandchildren come over, he told me he can’t wait till they go home because he has other things to do. I’m so deeply sad inside. I feel like all I am is a person who makes him dinner and does his laundry. They do not change. I’m thankful to be healthy because if I ever got an illness, he would complain that it was keeping him from his workday. If he ever asks me for a divorce, I would run and not look back! Good riddance!